Ropeless

J'ai tranché les cordes. Je dors; mes poumons ronflent comme un moteur, comme un chat. Un jour, bientôt, je me réveillerai, et il faudra que je me dépêche. I'll have to hurry up, to let this flow of feelings be carried away, to let it go, to let it express itself with violence. A storm of more-than-dreams.
Sometimes, I think words are useless. I don't know which language I am supposed to use, I want images, and sounds, and smells. I want to be embraced, kissed and touched. I am probably not becoming a passive person; but it is a dream. I am a ghost in a real world. I want the music to reach me as deep as it used to. I want it to pinch the skin, to pierce it, to slide under it. I want it to melt into the blood, to integrate each cell, to make my heart pound loudly. Je veux sentir des picotements d'excitation, être triste ou euphorique, m'envoler ou chuter. Sans corde. Je veux me rendre à moi-même. Je suis fatiguée de cette passivité.
Je suis fatiguée de dormir.
Mais bientôt je me réveillerai.